WIRED MAGAZINE: HOW TO GUIDE (PCV Gambia Edition)

Make it, mod it, hack it, wing it: We live in the age of DIY. So, with a little help from my fellow Education PCVs, we present the first annual How To Guide. Think of it as your manual for life in 21st century Gambia - advice on how to make big books, beat intestinal worms, and captain a softball team are all inside. From the Education group of 2006-2008 including two adopted members, extenders from the 2005-2007 group.

Bonus: Ed. Volunteers, see if you can find yourself. About 12 people were used.
Illustrations by Yaya.

---> HOW TO: WORK

How to: Extend for a Third Year
1 > Have a good reason. Strong projects, marriage, a new country of service, or specific aspects of your service that you feel are missing are all valid reasons. Avoid reasons that you forcefully have to justify such as: fear, not knowing what to do next, possibility of relationships/weak relationships, or laziness.
2 > Tell your APCD and CD! This can be an often forgotten fact as you involve fellow volunteers in the decision making process. Disaster could result from failure to adhere to this step.
3 > Get to know the group that came after you. They are your new family and you’ll need their help in many of the same ways that you needed the help of your own group.
4 > Take your month leave to go home, eat some Wendy’s, take a stroll through a neighborhood park, and relax. This is a deceptively difficult step since most people have a list of things to do that would take more time than what is actually alloted to them. Plan the trip well and be sure to include a few days of doing absolutely nothing, be prepared for them to end up being busy anyways.
5 > Get on the plane to return to The Gambia. Enjoy your last chance for the next 11 months to be sitting in air conditioning, being waited on by someone, and watching television. Travel back to site in a gele-gele and do your thing.

How to: Make Big Books
Qualified as ‘masters’ on the ABBA (American Big Book Association) Exam Becca and Rachel have made a name for themselves by creating the most colorful, detailed, and interesting big books. Their biggest piece of advice? Shade the backside of your tracing paper (the side that rests on your final book), that way when you trace a nice clear thick line will appear on your final book.
1 > Find time to create! Most people underestimate how long taking a big book will make, especially if it involves a lot of characters and detail. Allow at least one hour per page.
2 > Search for good source material. Unless you are the next Theodor Geisel or Mercer Mayer don’t rely on your own artistic skill. Mix and match pictures from books even if the style is somewhat different. As long as your final book is consistent it will work.
3 > Trace the source material. Don’t forget to trace the words if there are special fonts or effects required by the text.
4 > Transfer your traces to the big book.
5 > Stop. Take a break and chat with whomever is in the room with you. Your hands and mind need a break. Eat a snack and have a drink. The break will also allow you to see if you’ve left anything out. Suggested food and drink: Peanut butter and bread (You need your protein) and Foster Clark’s drink mix (You need your fruit flavor, vitamin C, and sugar).
6 > Colorize and fill in the pictures. Be creative, add landscapes, minor characters, hidden secrets, and color. Don’t detract from your original message too much unless your job is to create the next “Where’s Waldo” (In which case go crazy and add people dancing to boom boxes, Ancient Egyptian pharaohs , or a witch cooking with a bubbling cauldron).
7 > Present your big book to your school, community group, APCD, or other appreciating person.

How to: Successfully Switch Sites
1 > Have a good reason to leave. Too many volunteers aren’t willing to give their site a chance. Your site is what you make it, and you have to give it time to make it something you like. If it still is horrible after 9 months to a year, then and only then seriously consider switching.
2 > Talk to your APCD and make a good case for your move. Include cultural and work related issues since that makes up 100% of a PCVs job. Hint: Strong prepared arguments are best, ‘It just sucks, the people aren’t good’ probably won’t be convincing but ‘I think I could be more effective running after school programs at a school with a feasible science lab’ probably will.
3 > Move to your new site. Remember to do all the cultural things associated with a new member of a community. Give Kola nuts to the Al-Kalo (Village head), community leaders, the Imam, and host family heads. Go and greet your new host community members.
4 > Don’t be afraid to give up your previously learned language. If your new village is predominantly of another ethnic group learn their language as soon as possible. Bonus: If you can learn to adequately speak more than one language people will think your mind is ‘that much sweeter’ and you’ll probably get an according increase in the amount of marriage proposals.

---> HOW TO: LIVE

How to: Beat Intestinal Worms
Sarah has overcome everything from the flu to worms. She fears nothing and now can kill off disease by just staring it down.
1 > Remember that early on you don’t have Thundercat strength quite yet, so don’t rush into things. Most village food contains some bacteria or parasite, but until your body adjusts you can't kill them off naturally.
2 > Watch for symptoms. If your stomach is running too much or if it is running not at all, you probably have worms. Start to read books like “Where there is No Doctor” and become appropriately paranoid.
3 > As the pain increases don't give up! Listen to your PC medical officers and let them try traditional medicine first.
4 > If all else fails drink your worms under the table and out of your system. Hint: Worms apparently hate alcohol. Start downing beer like a college Freshmen and don't quit drinking until the worms pass through and you’ll have the strength of ten Grinches, plus two. Go out and celebrate your victory, Thundercats Hoooo.

How to: Be the Farthest Up Country, Have the Most Fun, and Have No One Know What the Heck You’re Up To.
1 > Be in a village far up country which will detract all lazy unadventurous Kombo volunteers from visiting. If this can’t be done try and find a site that is far off the main highway and hard to get to. Both these will maximize your seclusion factor and add to the mystery.
2 > Find your niche in the community and go out enough that when you walk the streets it seems like everyone greets you and recalls a story of their favorite experience with you.
3 > Have just enough people visit to show them how much fun you are having, but not give any details that would demystify the experience. Don’t let the visitor linger too long or they’ll discover too much!
4 > Let the mystery of your happy existence in The Gambia spread through the PCV gossip network.
5 > Live like a King, with everyone scratching their heads as to how you do it.

How to: Dress for Success
Dan has pulled off some of the most creative, attractive, and hilarious outfits throughout his year and a quarter in The Gambia. His stylistic epiphany apparently came during In Service Training when he realized that Gambian clothing was missing one important thing, America. So he combined Gambian style clothes with American Flag patterned fabric and came out with spectacular results.
1 > Buy fabric that speaks to you. Ideally you should pick something that speaks not only to your personal tastes but also to your country; spend the time to find cloth that is patterned with the American Flag, patriotic colors, George Bush, army camo, etc.
2 > Find your favorite tailor and tell him to make the outfit a ‘bit on the large size.’ This ensures that the outfit would best fit in an MC Hammer video making it awe inspiring on the streets of The Gambia. If you accurately tell your tailor ‘I want this to be oversized’ you risk receiving clothing that is large enough to be used as a small circus tent.
3 > Pick a venue and/or event to introduce your new ensemble. Wear like a suit made out of pure American pride. Smile and wave as you walk past people with gaping jaws of admiration.

How to: Live in Kombo and Still Save Money.
Terry is one of the most successful volunteers at keeping tack of his funds. No tricks here, just simple common sense. Live within your means, find the best deals for common items, and don’t give into the vices of the city.
1 > Survey the grocery stores and find the best deals for common items that you will be buying frequently. Stock up if you find particularly good values. Hint: Don’t forget to check Serrekunda market, sometimes items there can be bought in bulk for cheap. Have a plan when going in, wandering can be discouraging and distracting from your mission.
2 > Fail to plan and you plain to fail. Make a plan for how you want to spend your money. Include some discretionary funds for that occasional ice cream or night out for beers that you know you will be craving at some point or another. Follow how you are doing week to week recording your progress. At the end of the month compare the actual spent with your plan. Simple economics, period.
3 > KISS. Keep it simple stupid, don’t forget you are a Peace Corps volunteer. Do you really need that refrigerator, leather couch, Chinese dinner, or 60 watt light bulb?
4 > Cook for yourself instead of going out. With a little planning a crafty volunteer can usually make a better meal than local restaurants and save a significant amount of money. If you don’t know how to cook, learn quickly and don’t be afraid to experiment. Tip: Even if you are a poor cook you can start with some easy basics. Try vegetable soup mixes combined with chopped fresh vegetables and bread make a hearty easy meal.

How to: Show Gambians How to Rock Out Like an American
1 > Live in an adequately small village where your actions will be seen and heard by the entire community.
2 > Fly a huge American flag over your hut so that anyone in a 2km radius can see it clearly.
3 > Wear large sunglasses that depending on your expression can either make you look like you’re from “Top Gun” (Note: Soundtrack personnel included) or a bad-ass police officer.
4 > Go out to the fields and show Gambians how farming gets done in good old Iowa.
5 > Visit America to remind yourself where you came from, and don’t forget to pick up new shades. Come back and continue to rock out.

---> HOW TO: PLAY

How to: Prank Your Site Mate’s House
1 > Know your enemy. Find out what kinds of things a volunteer hates to love and loves to hate. This way the prank is aggravating enough but won’t get you killed. This is your site mate after all, you have to live with seeing them again.
2 > Get to know your site mate’s host family. Familiarity with who you are will allow you to get away with a whole lot more than if you are a stranger. Hint: Keys to doors or special entrances to homes are often kept with the family.
3 > Pick a time to pull the prank when you have adequate time to pull it off. Well planned pranks that take time to develop are usually the most rewarding and can be easily executed when the site mate is on a long vacation.
4 > Pull your prank. Example: Paint their house to look like a Kindergarten classroom including ABCs, a yellow brick road of knowledge, and animal pictures.
5 > Sit back and wait for the inevitable payback.

How to: Send a Baffling Text Message
1 > Live life for the inexplicable crazy moments, write them down, keep them in your head, or take a picture so that accurate details are captured.
2 > Open a new text message. Write the message based on one of your specific experiences and be as detailed as possible. Don’t give any hint as to the reason or meaning behind the message. Don’t write a question or imply any response is needed at the end of the text.
3 > Choose to send the message that you rarely talk to otherwise. The recipient’s confusion and lack of context to your message will create vivid pictures far off the actual mark.
4 > Sit back and wait for a puzzled reply.

How to: Captain a(n unsuccessful) WAIST Softball Team
1 > Select your team. No luxury of MLB scouts or talent here, these are PCVs we are talking about. Put names in a hat and pull at random. Better yet start the competitive spirit early and have potential team members play a massive rock, paper, scissors tournaments to weed out the elite from the unlucky.
2 > Get uniforms. Nothing fancy, this distracts from your game play. Simple fabric or tie and dye that can be obtained anywhere in country is fine. You need uniformity here not the latest sports wear from Nike.
3 > Start casual drinking approx. one hour before game time (even if game time is 8am). Create and open and fun atmosphere where it is OK to make mistakes. People go to WAIST to have fun, not to be yelled at.
4 > Don’t show up for your team’s final game. Tell people you were too hung over to make it, even if you weren’t, this is the most plausible and excusable justification. And hey your team might not care, without your leadership it’s likely they will win their only game of the tournament.

- 2007 HOW TO GUIDE: PCV Gambia Edition
All Respect given to the real Wired Magazine and their work